Lady Bee's Blog

Single, Relationships, Married, Women, Men, Nigeria, Poetry

The Single Dilemma

This page is very personal to me. As a single lady, I know the pressure single people (most especially women) are put under in the society. It is almost like every where you turn you are reminded of your status. For instance the newspapers have sections dedicated to singles looking for relationships. Social Media platforms have numerous sites and pages on ‘finding love’ and ‘starting a relationship’.

I remember one post I stumbled upon on Instagram. It was on a ‘matchmaking’ page. It was not the fact that it was on a matchmaking page that stood out to me, I have stumbled on several of such pages in the past. Nor was it the picture of the man and woman gazing into each other’s eyes. It was the message under the post that got to me. It read something like ‘being single is not living, there is no joy in being single, to live a more fulfilling life subscribe to our page and we would match you with the man or woman of your dreams’.  What I found offensive about the message was that it assumed single people were not happy or enjoying life.

Objectively I knew where the message was coming from and the goodwill it meant to do but I just feel the message was not conveyed properly. Yes, the picture caught my attention but instead of uplifting me, it made me sad and put me in a state of self-pity. Who wants to read that they are just merely existing and not living because of something (most likely) beyond their control.

Then there are the people who are known personally to you, who constantly remind you of your lack of a significant other (the I too knows). They most likely think they are being helpful but all they really succeed in doing is make you feel down and irritated. You pray not to meet them on the way and when you do you try and hide to avoid them.

Being the only single person in my family, I became withdrawn and felt all alone. It wasn’t rubbed in my face, neither was I made to feel like a third wheel but I was just self-conscious every time we went out and I had no one.

This page is to serve as a haven to singles, a place to express your feelings without being judged or criticized by anyone. I recently attended a singles program and was shocked to find that most of the women in Church were single. These were women from different walks of life who all had one thing in common, a spouse, someone to call theirs. When it came to time to pray, these women prayed with all their might each seeking that man who was ordained for them.

There was a lady in particular I remember, who was dressed gorgeously in a beautiful light blue dress which was matched with some lovely gold pumps. During the service she looked all prim and proper but by the end of the singles prayer she had discarded her shoes and strands of her hair were out of its bun. That was my first singles meeting and it was then I discovered the need for a platform to serve as a place of solace for singles

This page is dedicated to all my lovely singles, don’t give up and never give in to depression or societal pressures.

I would love to hear from my fellow single people, please drop a comment on any areas you want me to write on.

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