I never believed in new beginnings, I actually hated the idea of having to start again. New beginnings to me, signified failure, which meant I was not good enough. Starting again meant I had to acknowledge my weaknesses and shortcomings. So Instead, I stayed in denial even when things weren’t going as required. Even in the face of strenuous opposition I held onto dead-end projects and ideas. Loved ones tried to advise me, yet I saw it as a slight on my character and refused to acknowledge their opinions, instead at times I had get belligerent and downright loud. Other times, I had sit quietly not saying a thing until they were done and it was only then I would half hearted accept the truth in their words. Even when I did agree with them, I still wouldn’t or couldn’t do anything about my situation.
My fear of failure had created a psychological barrier in the recess of my minds which made it hard for me to do anything must times. At times, I would start but stop half way given in to to anxiety holding me captive. This was my story and my reality for as long as I can remember until something in me snapped and I realized, starting over doesn’t mean I had failed.
Starting over simply means a new opportunity to achieve bigger and better things. Things that seemed to be out of your reach and impossible in the past. It was about failure, shortcomings or weaknesses but about building, creating and reaching heights dreamt of in the past.
Holding onto the past was a safety net for me because it was something I was used to, I was in familiar territory. So even when I knew that I had gotten to a brick wall in a situation, I stayed there because it was what I knew. It was what I was used to.
I have now dedicated myself to encourage people to never stop striving, never stop trying, never stop believing in the path you find yourself. If you require a new beginning, go for it, with Faith in God, that it is for the best. It is only when you embrace it, that your life begins to feel fulfilled and meaningful. I carried a heavy baggage for years on end which made me feel depressed and sad. It also made me feel like the one thing I avoided like a plaque, a FAILURE.
By going for a new beginning you are inevitably taken control of your life and destiny. This was something I had to learn before I believed it. In the past , I held unto to things thinking this meant I was in control. However, it is the strength and the boldness to begin again that is the ultimate control.
Follow me as I joyfully forge a new beginning, filled with uncertainty, hope and faith.