Should we pick love and the euphoria of it or money and all its allure and sweet trappings?
In an ideal world both love and money should exist side by side. We shouldn’t have to pick one over the other. However in a world where everything has its value and price the distinction between love and money has gradually been blurred.
For the love of money is the root of all evil. Yet money or the desire of it has passed from one generation to another like an unspoken code. It is a quiet assassin consuming all in its way. The love of money has started many wars, destroyed many countries and ended millions of lives. Yet the need for it dwells in the hearts of each human both little or big. The righteous seek money for comfort and to assist others in need, whilst the wicked seek it to torment and oppress the needy. The reason is not as important as the universal need for money. On the other hand there is love and its positive impact on people and circumstances “Love your neighbour as yourself” is the bedrock on how we are meant to relate with one another. We are meant to be our brother’s keeper, love each other regardless of religion and colour. It is without a doubt the love of our Creator that made us in our mothers’ wombs, gave them the grace to carry us for nine months and saw them through delivery. The sense of love is so intoxicating; it leaves one with a warm, fuzzy feeling of completeness. However love can also be suffocating with deadly consequences for the parties involved. A person in love can do anything for the object of his affection, including kill. We have read stories in the newspaper where love has led to hatred and in some instances death
In a bid to find the right answer, I asked five individuals ranging in ages (22-32) (three women and two men) some questions which forced them to choose between love and money.
The first questions was would you rather be in a wealthy marriage with no love or a love filled marriage with no money? Three out of the five chose the love filled marriage with no money, citing how love was all that was needed. Their rationale was as long as there was love then everything else is secondary. To this group of hopeless romantics, being in love is all that matters. Love makes everything alright. Whilst the other two chose the wealthy marriage with no love, their argument was money can buy everything. These are the materialistic individuals who value worldly possessions over emotions. This group of people like to be called realist who know how to separate themselves from their emotions.
Out of the three who chose love, two were the only two men in the group. This shows that even though love and passion are seen as female emotions, in some instances women are able to disconnect themselves from the feelings. This debunks one theory of women being led by their emotions in every situation. To have a clearer reason, they were asked to state the reasons for their choice. The reasons given by the three who chose love were similar in nature. They said love should be the foundation of every union. According to them if there was no love such a marriage would fail regardless of wealth or status. The two women who choose money disagreed, stating that life without money is really no life at all. A marriage without money and just love would become bitter and can also come to a dreadful and bitter end. Both sides had valid points but I still did not have an answer. So I asked another question.
The five were asked if in a non-romantic relationship they would choose money or love. If for example they were approached by someone for a fairly substantial amount of loan. Would they wait, listen and assist the individual or would they ignore and walk past without even a word? Four out of the five this time around choose money over love. The only people who chose love also added a condition to providing assistance. She said such a person would have to give her valid reasons as to why he/she is not working, what steps has been taken to secure a job and what the money was going to be used for? This she said was because money is not easy to come by and the economy is not in a good shape. At this point I reminded her that love is meant to be unconditional, so also your show of love is meant to be without questions.
Turning to the four who choose money over love, I asked why they would choose not to assist when they had the power to. One of the former pro love advocate replied by saying one cannot help another blindly in the present economy. “Do you even know what the exchange rate is saying? Or what the price of milk is in the market? Let us not even talk about the insane increase in NEPA bills across country. She concluded by saying “The fact that I believe in love doesn’t mean I don’t know the usefulness of money. Biko, I cannot waste my money oh”. This shows that in certain situations love took precedent to money and vice versa.
MINI SESSION WITH THE KIDS:
Next I had a mini session with children between the ages of 4-12, where I asked who their favourite parent was and why. Most choose their mother over their father for different reasons. However, the common factor was because of the love and affection shown to them by their mothers. The fact that mothers take care of you, ensure you are happy and are very compassionate. Most mothers are not as financially stable as the fathers but they would go out of their way to provide for their children. Unlike fathers who are stricter, more detached from the home front and less approachable. To these children emotional affection such as love outweighed material things such as money. When I asked these children what they wanted to be when they are older. A few said they wanted to be businessmen and women, one or two said they wanted to be the president of Nigeria, a few wanted to be lawyers, doctors and bankers. When asked why? The majority answered they wanted to have money and be rich like their fathers. Even these children could not deny the reality of life and the fact that both love and money are equally important. So is it love or is it money?
I have thought hard and long about it and still I am unable to pick one or the other. Love or money or the desire of it are intrinsic in life, one cannot be separated from the other. You cannot have one without the other. It is simply impossible to take love and leave money or to leave love and take money. With money comes fame, and most especially power. Humans crave power, the thought of being worshipped by others. Being seen as a Demi God able to do and undo. It was this same hunger for power that led Adam and Eve to go against God in the Garden of Eden. The serpent promised Adam and Eve God Like powers and this prompted them to go against the one who created them. They went against all that they believed in and all that they were taught. Hilter was so power-hungry he killed thousands of Jews and destroyed many of lives included his. It is this same desire for power that has led to some of the atrocities being committed in our very nation. Love is what makes us feel complete in life and internally happy. A loveless life is not worth living regardless of the individual’s riches and wealth. It leaves a hole in the soul which cannot be filled by all the riches in the world. Have you ever wondered why some rich people who apparently have everything end up killing themselves either voluntarily or involuntarily? A classic example is the comedian Robin Williams who committed suicide a while back. Robin had dedicated his life to making others laugh; he was a master of the craft and had perfected the said art. Yet he was unable to make himself happy. He had become so fed up with life and depressed that the only option left was for him to end it. We feel the need to be loved and the passion for money. Many have sold their souls for money, whilst others have sacrificed everything for the wonders of love. The trick is finding the right balance between both. There is no shame in wanting love as much as there is no disgust in seeking for money.